alone

Sometimes I cannot stand silence. I feel like falling. My thoughts start running in cycles. Sometimes I cannot be alone. Took me long to admit that to myself. And even longer to figure out why.

Don’t want to blame my mom for everything. But this is definitely her failure. At least this is how I see it at the moment. I hated to be home. I hated to be just with her. It was super boring. She was never giving me attention. Never playing with me. Never had the feeling she is enjoying my company. Rather I felt like being a burden.

Writing this, it sounds bad. It felt bad. But I didn’t realise how bad.

When I was young I wanted to be a gangster. Wanted to rob banks and just knock out people which pissed me off. Just like this. With my fist.

Sometimes I have so much aggressions inside me. Thank god I am not a man. Though my testo is above average.

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